MOJO # 43: "Detach Mode": The practical guide to letting go.

"trust the universe!"

"let go!"

"surrender!"

If you're like me, you've heard these terms so often that they stopped having meaning.

But recently I became curious about their definitions. 

Sure, they all have an element of accepting what is and detaching from the outcome; hence the "letting go".

But what is the difference between "trust" and "surrender" for example?

And how can I intentionally create a practice that applies both in my business and life?

As always, the universe delivers.

I was at the pool one weekend when I noticed that there was an abnormal number of bees drowning in the water.

It's not uncommon for them to fall into it and die if not picked up and placed under direct sunlight quickly.

Looking at the sheer number of bees to save that day, I knew I had to go into "Detach Mode"

What is Detach Mode?

"Detach Mode" is my mode of operation when I recognize that sh*t really hit the fan and I need to disengage the active thinking mind to allow my instinct (i.e. the body) to respond.

This response itself is a trained instinct, and it should kick in naturally in life-or-death situations.

In those extreme cases, the observer part of your consciousness continues to run in the background, but contrary to what most people believe, there is actually no intense panic. If anything, there is a sense of complete peace and acceptance, while the mind-body continues to direct your actions instinctively to give you the best chances at survival.


But you don't have to wait for an extreme case to enter this state. You can learn to activate it on-demand where your stress levels normally spike.

In this case, I knew that I was racing against time, something I absolutely hate to do.  Seconds meant the difference between whether a bee will live or not. And I had the whole pool to cover, as even more bees continued to fall into it.

So here is how I practiced surrender and letting go:

My first thought was: "I have no obligation to do any of this."

This is a crucial first step in letting go. Understanding that you have no responsibility to "do the right thing", or to do anything at all in life.

You have a responsibility to NOT take certain actions (you probably shouldn't go around throwing LEGOs in people's paths), but you have no responsibility to take an action. Your being with zero doing is perfectly fine. 

My second thought: I am not responsible for the outcome, but I will do my best anyway.

And this is the crux of surrender.

Surrender happens on 3 levels:

1) Doing your best.

2) Doing it anyway, even when it looks like it's not working.

3) Not spending any energy on things outside your control.

Surrender is therefore your attitude while taking the action. It is not about what you believe, but it will demonstrate to you where your beliefs are.

Trust, on the other hand, is the muscle that gets built from experiencing grace more than once.

We've all wished for things and felt disappointed when they didn't work out, only to realize that there was much better for us. 

If you reflect on your own life, you'll probably think of at least a handful of things you're glad didn't work out as you had hoped.

A spiritual teacher once taught me that the more crap you've experienced, the more fertile your soil.

The more you till it, the more abundant your harvest.

If you learn to trust that every "negative" experience has an equal or greater amount of joy and abundance attached to it, even if that thought is unbearable right now, even if it makes no sense, it will give you some peace (trust) to keep showing up and doing the work (surrender) until life can show you in the physical form, that it's always, always, happening for you.

RELATED:

Making peace with what is: How to be okay with where you are (and get where you want to be faster)

Grow your business with ease and flow: How to stop feeling anxious and overwhelmed all the time.

How to build your business when you’re too busy and have no time.

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