MOJO # 60: You will be misunderstood

It's not your job to clean other people's lenses.

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One of the hardest burdens I had to let go of is that of being misunderstood.

It was always painful to realize that someone did not see me the way I saw myself.

And whenever that happened, instead of questioning the validity of their judgment, I questioned myself.

I even questioned my own sense of reality, warping my own perspective, trying to get into theirs:

"Am I really that? Surely I must be at least partially that, otherwise, they wouldn't have thought it."

Then I would immediately go into overdrive, explaining myself, and doing whatever it takes to prove that I am not what they think I am.

Sadly, I attracted a few (actual) narcissists in my life.

And the more those people misunderstood me, the harder I worked to get them to like me, accept me, and approve of me.

Obviously, I had to do a ton of work to understand those dynamics, forgive myself, and stop outsourcing my sense of self to others.

So when I saw how people criticized Mr Beast for building 100 wells in Africa recently, I had to pause and laugh at the absurdity.

Imagine being a 25-year-old with a net worth of $500 million dollars — and instead of just giving to some tax-deductible charity, you actually went in person to ensure your plan is executed to perfection...

And then having people over twice your age criticize you because you did it while being a white male.

I don't know anything about Mr. Beast, but I can assure you that those who are criticizing him are not the ones who are drinking clean water today thanks to him and to everyone else involved in this immense initiative.

You WILL be misunderstood, there is no doubt about it. If you aren't criticized publicly, someone IS judging you in silence. That is fine. Because the effort to avoid that is both exhausting and futile. All that you can do is decide who you want to be, endeavor to be that at all times, and let your reputation be the byproduct of who you really are. Let go of how other people receive it with their personal lens, it's not your job to clean it for them.